The Jews and Pharisees were too hard headed to see the Savior. Jesus was right infront of them and performing all of these miraculous things and they just sat there and complained about how it didn't fit the "rules". Sometimes we are just like that. God is right under our noses and we don't even realize it. Or is it that we don't want to believe it. It is hard and more strenuous to believe in Christ but that doesn't make God any less. People are just stupid sometimes. Maybe not stupid just ignorant.
Last week I had quite the week. It started out bad. I felt really depressed and didn't know why. Everything made me sad and I was just so emotionally drained. I was upset at Dane and life in general. I felt that I was messed up because of how I react to stuff. I had overreacted about a lot of things with Dane and I felt like a fool. I felt so unloved by the world and everyone in it. People would say hi to me on campus and ask how I was doing and I would smile and say fine. I didn't want to though. Everything was not fine but I put on my "Happy Sarah Mask" so I didn't have to deal with it and they wouldn't know that I didn't have it all together. It is just easier that way. It was on Wednesday that I finally just brokedown. I came into my room and cried to God about all of the uglyness that I was feeling from people and myself. I poured out my heart to Him and........He was there. His presense brought me to my knees and I could feel His consuming love holding me, cuddling me. . He told me that I was his beloved, His love. He told me that I was His creation and that He had created me exactly as He wanted me to be. He had perfected me to his plan. He told me that I had a purpose in this world. That He had things bigger than I could imagine planned for me. It felt so good to realize that I was in the presense of God. Yeah, I wasn't put into the presense of God. He never left me. I was the one that neglected Him and turned away thinking that I didn't need Him and that He wasn't following me or with me when I "left". Yes, I realized that He created me and loved me deeply just as He always had and always will.
That night I talked to Dane about how I was feeling and we had an awesome conversation. He told me why he was doing/not doing the things I wanted him to and I came into an understanding of why he was/is that way. It was an awesome conversation that helped us both understand one another better and grow closer to one another while facing our fears.
Yeah so now things are awesome and I know that God is good and that He has never left me. So if you are going through a "dry spell" with God, you just don't feel as close as you use to, or you just want to be closer to Him try to remember that He is right there with you and loves you all you have to do is acknowledge that He is there. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. He created you and you are His beloved(yes even you guys)!
God is good all the time! All the time He is good!
Blessed beyond measure,
Sarah
P.S. I have a huge supprise for you people not here at AU!!! I will update you later on it!
This is a song that really just expresses what I was feeling on last Wednesday.
Holy
By: Nichole Nordeman
How many roads did I travel
Before I walked down one that led me to You?
How many dream did unravel
Before I believed in a hope that was true?
How long? How far?
What was meant to fulfill only emptied me still
And all You ever wanted…
Only me on my knees
Singing holy, holy
And somehow
All that matters now is
You are holy, holy
How many deaths did I die
Before I was awakened to new life again?
How many half truths did bear witness to
‘Til the proof was disproved in the end?
How long? How far?
What was meant to illuminate shadowed me still
And all You ever wanted…
All I have is gratitude to offer You | 
